'Get out of my house!'

Over the years I have been involved in anti-scam work, I've been in contact with many victims, and have been able to help some.
Sometimes the victim who asks for help is not who you may think.

'Get out of my house'
I can't go into many details, but this phrase in one form or the other figures in at least 3 situations where the Wife asked for help in understanding or dealing with a husband who had some form of relationship with a Filipina.

One such husband was a married, professional, active in his Church, with a houseful of nice looking kids, and what seemed to be a caring, loyal, wife.
His wife noticed unusual charges on his credit card, became suspicious, and began snooping.
She found he had been spending hundreds of dollars on online 'cam' porn sites, as well as sending thousands of dollars to a specific lady. She later found many phone calls, and eventually figured out who the 'lady' was. It was a Filipina 'cam performer' on a pornographic cam site.

These 'cam performers' often will scam 'customers'.
Some of the customers will want to play the 'rescuer', and get the girl out of the 'business'.
I've had many men claim the only go on these sites where a lady is usually sitting naked on camera, with various 'implements' strewn around on the 'bed', to TALK to them.
(I still find that hilarious...)
Whether the 'rescue', (and ongoing financial support related to it) is the idea of the man, or lady, it doesn't matter. Hundreds, and thousands of dollars will change hands, and often the money will end up in the pockets of the real husband, or boyfriend, of the performer. Many of these girls have husbands, or live-in lovers, they support.

The 'performer' in this situation seemed to have other intentions. She wanted to become the wife of this professional man. The man may have been telling her it was a possibility.

The 'performer' began calling the wife at home, threatening her, and telling her 'Get out of my house, that is my house, and he is my husband...'
The wife was distraught. She was not only dealing with a husband who was a secret pervert, and a liar, but these new, abusive phone calls, from a mercenary bimbo, thousands of miles away.
More abusive phone calls arrived, some from unknown 'friends' of the talented lady, (who finally managed to figure out a way to make money that did not include sticking objects into bodily orifices while on camera. She was going to land a somewhat affluent husband.)
I was in occasional contact with this wife over a few year period. It was frustrating. The Church her family was heavily involved in would not help her, even though the husband was a 'lay' official in the local church.
She was afraid to leave the husband, and concerned for the welfare of the children, who the 'cam performer' was claiming she would be the new 'mom' to.
I don't remember if the husband lost interest in this bimbo, or he reached his credit limit, and she lost interest in him but eventually the 'relationship' ended, without the man ever meeting this bimbo, face to face.
Things weren't quiet for long.
Eventually, the wife contacted me, again. She was now finding credit card charges from a local 'escort' service, and we were able to find a name and face of the 'Asian' escort he was seeing.

I remember seeing the facebook pages for this family. Nice looking people, they had a nice life. 'Dad' had much to be proud of, except his secret life which threatened to destroy his family.

A year or two later, a comparable plea for help arrived in my email inbox. This from the wife of a man who sometimes worked for periods of up to six months, overseas. One such trip took him to a city in SE Asia, which had a 'red light' district in an adjacent city.
The husband became involved with a filipina 'bargirl', and was throwing a lot of money at her. The bargirl decided this was her ticket to the USA, a new life, and prosperity.
She also soon started calling the wife at home in the USA, and telling her to 'get out of my house. LEAVE. He is mine, now.'

I vaguely remember a third, related situation, where the 'get out of my house' calls were made. I can't really do much. I try to find information on the 'girl' the wife may not be able to find, and encourage her to assess the marriage very seriously.
Men who do this, generally, keep doing it.
Regardless of what the cornered man will tell the wife, this is not likely the first online relationship the man has had, nor will be the last.

What is your husband really doing, online?

Over the years I have found that many married men are on 'Asian'dating sites, or other chat venues. They may just be exploring, or experimenting, but sometimes this activity gets out of hand very fast.
Some of the girls are very predatory.
Some do not care if the man is married, or not, or if the story he tells about a bad marriage he intends to end, is true.
They will latch on very quickly, and money will be expected, all while the smiling, cute lady is stroking his ego.
If you are a lonely, bored guy, this can seem very exciting, and comforting. If you are married, it's not very productive to your marriage.
It's a fantasy world.

'I shacked up with this old farang and all I have to show for it is this damn car?'

I have never been to Thailand, but I have crossed paths with a handful of Thai ladies online over the years.
You do not normally run into 'internet romance scams' from Thailand, unless they are conducted by outsiders, who are currently residing in Thailand, and these are typically our 'West African friends'.

Thailand of course has a heavy sex tourism industry, a normal tourism industry, as well what seems to be a large number of retired expats.

Over the years my communications with some Thai ladies have been eye opening. In some poorer Northern provinces, landing a 'farang' husband is like winning the lottery, even better if the farang is going to live in Thailand. Either way a house ends up being built for somebody,either the happy couple, or the lady and her parents. (where she will probably retire after sugar daddy croaks)

One very engaging Thai lady I chatted with was not a stunner. She was 40, mildly cute, straying toward plain, but her eyes lit up when you chatted, and she was animated, very bright, and witty. She was cool, and fun. I seriously considered meeting her. (Yes, I was single at the time.)
We chatted over a few months. Her initial story was she worked her way through university, worked in a factory in Bangkok, and eventually met a farang, who told her to go back to the province to wait for him to sort out his divorce, while he financially supported her.
The amount of monthly support he sent was outrageous by local standards, if true. It amounted to 6 times what a local peasant farmer would earn.
She claimed she was able to build her parents a new modest house, buy a laptop, and bank some money before the 'allowance' stopped.
(It also appeared she was doing some 'translating' with the laptop for local girls who spoke no english, but had online romeos.)
The story changed eventually, and the final version included her working in a bar in Bangkok after university, and then shacking up with an Expat who later supported her back in the province for a few years, before ending the arrangement.
This lady did not appear to be a bimbo, not a seductive, wiggling man-toy like you can see on videos and movies.
When we expressed mutual interest, and the possibility of meeting, she laid out the arrangements for any possible marriage to her.
(this is all online, and we had never met.)
I don't remember the exact details, but it included a few thousand dollars of Gold, for the mother, $200 a month, while the parents were alive, and eventually building a new, small house, 'for the parents'.
(who I was previously told already had one? The new one must have been for her future retirement?)
Thai culture has a dowry tradition called 'sin sod'. From what I understand, this is not a current, common practice, and the price is determined by the virginity of the lady, age, and education.
This was kind of mind boggling to me, when I balked I was offered an 'installment plan'. Reduced down payment, smaller monthly payments to the family, and the promise to build a house 'in the future'.
( I wonder if she ran a credit check on me?)
As charming and delightful as she was to chat with, and talk to on the phone, this pretty much ended whatever fantasy I was wallowing in.
I pulled the plug amid some major waterworks on her part, on cam, and said 'Bye'.

A few years later I saw a familiar face on a different Asian dating site, and said 'Hi'. She told me she had returned to Bangkok, and was doing some sort of work that didn't involve bars. I wished her luck.

Many of the Thai ladies who contact my baiting profiles are more interested in landing an older 'Farang' who is willing to retire in Thailand. Some already have 'the house', maybe paid for by the previous benefactor, who may be pushing up daisies,now?
It's not unusual to see a profile for an attractive, middle-aged Thai lady that announces 'Come live in my house.'
I'm not judging. It's interesting to me.

When I run into Thai ladies online from the Northern provinces, I try to get the 'story' they have to tell.

I chatted with one recently. Pretty, 50, divorced. The story was her professional Thai husband dumped her years ago for another lady, keeping the kids, and casting her away. (who knows?)
She was currently working a domestic job, and claimed she had no contact with her two children, and seemed very sad about it.
'They know my phone number, but they never call me for years!'
Eventually she told me she had hooked up with a very elderly 'Farang' who lived in Thailand after the divorce, almost twice her age, who never married her. He eventually died, and all she had left to show for it was the new small car he had bought her.
The car was long gone, sold, and the proceeds dwindled. Now she is not happy, alone, but working hard, but with the eye on the internet for the next knight in shining armor.
I always mention I am not interested in living in Thailand, but she made the pitch, anyway.
'You come live here with me...'
The counter-offer she proposed included her coming to the US as my wife, and eventually we would retire in Thailand, and ...gee....why not build the little retirement love nest, now?
If only I could get pretty, local women to throw themselves at me like this?
This fantasy is too expensive, not only a long plane ride, but a house to boot?

I could try waddling up to well preserved widow in my local Starbucks, give her a wink, and 'Hey, Toots, buy me a house and I'll be your boy toy....GRRRRRRRR!'

On the same Thai dating site I met the 'car' lady, another attractive middle aged lady messaged me repeatedly.
'You come meet me. Marry me. I go USA you wife.'
'Uh, Lady....I don't even know your name? Can't we be friends first?'
'You come meet me. Marry me. I go USA you wife.'
I'd like to say she was enamored with my handsome face on my profile, but I have no picture on that profile, at that dating site.

This post is not intended to depict the ladies in Thailand in general. I've chatted with many accomplished, lovely, ladies from Thailand. I respect that many are not that interested in leaving Thailand, they are happy and loyal to Thailand, even though there are some political problems currently.