I'm polite to them, friendly, and often give them a cyber shoulder to cry on.
(A competent 'scambaiter' does not harm real people.)
Since I mainly focus on internet romance scams from Asia, and pose as a white male, the lonely people are often middle aged, Asian women.
Filipinas with a long missing husband, and children she is struggling to support...
Lovely older Thai office ladies, often wary, and prim, but hoping to meet an honest Farang who is not a pervert, or married, or only interested in the younger, firmer, more seductive girls online...
Chinese ladies of a certain age, discarded by husbands who chased down a new, younger, trophy wife, or never married while engulfed in a career...
A Filipina OFW, maybe working as a Domestic, not treated well by the employer, underpaid, and isolated from friends, family...
Landing a Western husband may mean escaping a bleak life, and the limited pool of prospective local suitors.
Online relationships are a strange combination of hope, and fantasy, and you won't know which part is dominant until it's too late, but, they help you pass lonely hours, and sometimes, result in real relationships.
Yes, the internet is crowded with fakes, and scammers, but mixed in and sometimes hidden, are the real people, with normal problems, and dreams.
I do not wish to harm the normal, lonely people I bump into online.
If I can't avoid a chat with them, politely, the ensuing conversation often drifts toward the rude men, and scammers they have to wade through, online.
(Guys, there are real ladies, online. Be polite, honest, and realistic in your expectations, and you can probably find them.)
During these chats I try to steer these ladies to safe dating sites, give them some tips to avoid scams, and scammers, and encourage them, if possible.
Contact with these, real ladies of Asia, reminds me not all Asian ladies online are asking for money, chasing green cards, or up to 'adult' things on the internet. I do get an appreciation for the life they lead, the problems they face, and local culture.
I remember a night maybe 5-6 years ago. I was busy 'baiting' on the Yahoo chat rooms that existed at that time.
I would sign into various 'Asian' chat rooms, posing as a white male, middle aged, or older, from the US, and would usually get flooded by young, mercenary Filipinas, and an occasional West African scammer.
During peak periods it was not unusual to have a handful of ladies waiting to chat with me. Please don't misconstrue this as me thinking I'm a 'stud'. Any warm, male body with a PC and a wallet was a prime target. I frequently posed as an elderly, feeble, old man, complete with pictures and video to feed over the webcam.
(the old geezer looked like he could barely stand up, let alone get on a plane, fly to the Philippines, and marry the 18-21 year old pinay, or enjoy the 'attention' she was willing to show him if he arrived, after he sent money NOW.)
These ladies would often profess love for the new man, and then hit him up for money within the first 5 minutes of the chat. It was fast, and furious.
The purpose of this baiting was to identify these ladies, and collect enough information to post, online. They were not entrapped, or enticed. They cruised the chat rooms, looking for a middle aged man, and swooped in. These girls could be collecting money from multiple men, telling each he was the sole cyber lover, and provider.
The nice, real, ladies competed for time with the ones that only hoped for a trip to pick up some money sent by Xoom, or Western Union.
It could be a real zoo.
The young, cute, smiling, and sometimes scantily clad girls would 'buzz, buzz, buzz' on Yahoo Instant messenger, and most would happily turn on a cam when it came time to chat. (catching a real face on cam was important, if I intended to report a scammer)
At the same time you often had the 'real' ladies, trying to get your attention.
Just like on the dating sites, the more 'mature' or plainer lady, had trouble getting the attention of the men, online.
Granted, most of the guys online are looking for the young 'hotties', and many are not interested in serious relationships. The real people online who hope to meet another real person, and are willing and able to travel to meet them, are few and far between.
The likelihood of one of the older, nice ladies running into a nice man, online, is pretty minimal, but they plug away, until they give up out of desperation.
I still remember this night.
I had worked through a long waiting list of probable chat scammers. One chubby, 40-ish filipina, patiently waited a turn to talk to my fake man as I worked through the waiting, 'buzzing', younger ladies. (many of which would turn out to be scammers, or online beggars.)
She was not attractive, but her looks were not the reason I was avoiding chatting with her. She was not likely to profess love in a few minutes, or need money for some imaginary emergency.
She would message me, and I'd politely ask her to wait a few minutes. I was 'busy'.
This happened over, and over. I couldn't clear the backlog of the type of 'prospects' I was there for, and who were circling like vultures.
I'd forget about her, and wade through the next handful. Minutes passed, maybe hours?
Her pleas to talk to her became more desperate. They would arrive maybe every 10-15 minutes.
(a new chat window would pop up)
'Please talk to me.'
I'd ask her to wait, and go back to the larcenous cuties.
At some point her interjected pleas turned to 'Please love me'.
'Please love me...'
This statement popped up a few times, and then I finally had a chance to chat with her.
I don't remember the conversation we had at that time, but the repeated 'please love me', followed by the pudgy, crying face, that appeared on webcam, somewhat haunt me to this day.
The Yahoo chatrooms are long gone. At times they were an exhilarating, and productive venue for a scambaiter. Sometimes it was fun for me, but when I think of those days, the 'please love me' always comes to mind. The intense, madness of dealing with the circling vultures, punctuated by the cry of a lonely lady, who just wanted some attention.
The 'anti-scam' work I do is with the intention of helping decent people avoid scams and problems on the internet, and possibly, find love.
I get into trouble when I say that online romantic relationships, at least the ones between two real people, are superficial, but they are. They can be the basis for the start of a real relationship, prior to meeting in person.
They also help pass some lonely hours, and give you a sense of worth. Nobody may pay attention to you where you live, but somebody who thinks you are special, waits for you on the internet.
The scammers come up with new tricks, and infiltrate any new venue that pops up, sites, social networks, anywhere on the 'net. They're everywhere, and they are anywhere real people lurk on the 'net.
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